What other jobs have you had in your life? I was a Registered Nurse but when the hospitals all went to computer charting, due to the brain damage caused by my head injury I was unable to comprehend the system. I recall everything I learned from before the accident, but have trouble learning new tasks. I was a yoga instructor for a few years, but my favorite part of yoga is turning off the brain, so now I’m a substitute instructor. I highly recommend yoga for all of you like me, who have a “monkey mind,” where thoughts jump from one to another like monkeys swinging from tree to tree. Yoga is great in getting that under control.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Anywhere as long as my husband and dogs were with me and my parents nearby.
How do you write – lap top, pen, paper, in bed, at a desk? Lap top.
How much sleep do you need to be your best? Ten hours.
Is there anyone you’d like to acknowledge and thank for their support? My husband.
Every writer has their own idea of what a successful career in writing is, what does success in writing look like to you? For me, learning that my book has gotten doctors to specialize in this disease, and they find a way to determine which children have this before any suffering has happened. Perhaps a DNA test; maybe they will identify a gene like they have for some cancers.
Tell us about your new book? What’s it about and why did you write it? At age 35 I was still suffering from things that happened in my life when I was ten years old. When I heard, I think on Oprah, that one way of getting rid of negative thoughts that repeat like a recording in your mind, was to write them down, I tried it. As the words left my mind and onto the paper, so did the pain, suffering and humiliation. Half way through the journal, I realized I had to publish it to prevent other children from feeling the way I did, wanting to commit suicide at ten years old. I was more afraid of living than I was of dying, I wasn’t afraid of pain, physical pain was much easier to deal with than the emotional pain I was living with, but I was Catholic. I knew this life was painful, and sad, but it would end one day. Hell was for eternity. Catholics are told if you commit suicide you go to hell I no longer believe that, but I did at ten years old. I had body dysmorphia, I was told a lie and it stuck. I was told that I wasn’t pretty and nobody would ever marry me. It didn’t hurt my feelings, it terrified me. I didn’t know any ugly people. Everyone was beautiful, what happens to ugly people I wondered with fear. Then one day when I was 12 years old, I had sex with a seventeen year old boy and for the first time in my life, while he was on top of me, I felt beautiful. I became addicted to sex immediately and did it with anyone, anywhere so I could have that feeling. The book describes my childhood, including signs to look for in your own children, my teen years when the drugs and alcohol are needed to lower inhibitions, some crazy sexual experiences including porn sites and swing clubs, my marriage through to my recovery. It is a self help book but some of the sex is explicit, and therefore is a book for adults only.
If you could have a dinner party and invite anyone dead or alive, who would you ask? Jesus, to find out the truth and stop all the religious wars; Marilyn Monroe, to find out about her death make sure she knows how many people still worship her. My grandfather who owes me an apology. Oprah to say thank you; everything I’ve learned as an adult I learned from The Oprah Winfry Show. My best friend who I haven’t seen in over 13 years. My husband, because we do everything together!
Author Samantha Barrett says that Memoirs of a Sex Addict was initially written to help heal herself. It is her sincere hope that it will also benefit others who have suffered as she has with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a disorder which led directly to sex addiction and many of the reckless adventures recorded in this book. For her, BDD was a very rough ride, so some of the language and emotions in these pages are also rough. It had to be that way, she says, in order to tell the true story. The betrayals were many, including of her husbands, and there was never a shortage of men willing to take advantage of her. Even a counselor in an inpatient addiction hospital found her to be easy prey. Of course, the greatest betrayal was of herself. Some of what she did will come across as wild, reckless, even self-indulgent, but the common theme with alcohol and drug addicts is that she couldn’t stop herself.
Dr. Irvin Milowe, MD, and professor of psychiatry at the University of Miami, calls Memoirs of a Sex Addict “a very thoughtful trip into an addiction, that also shows the route out.” And while Ms. Barrett is indeed eager to help others avoid her plight, she doesn’t hide the details of her excursions.
For Samantha Barrett the journey into addiction began during her childhood, with being bullied in the home in what might seem a benign way. “The media,” she says, “has been telling us about bullies at school and on the internet, but we rarely hear of bullies living under the same roof. We assume that parents will prevent anything hurtful to their children. But what if they are not aware? What may be “harmless teasing” for one child, could be devastating to another.
A child may be hiding the pain. I was told that I was ugly, that no man would ever marry me. This led to a disease called Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD, a disease that distorted the way I saw myself and led me to obsess over flaws that may not have even be present. We hear tragic stories of drug and alcohol addiction. My addiction was different. Sex was my “drug of choice.” Only sex could take away my pain of feeling “ugly.” As soon as a man was on top of me or giving me attention, I felt beautiful. Often, alcohol went along with this behavior, but sex was the one I had no control over. Hopefully, the stories in this book will encourage parents, teachers and caregivers to be more aware of what is being told to or heard by their children.”
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Genre – Biographies & Memoirs / Self-Help
Rating – R
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